Category Archives: Social Norms

Thinking Day 22 Feb 2015 Remembering when…

Swift Water Canoe Team  1994

Swift Water Canoe Team 1994

The theme for World Thinking Day 2015 is

 “Girls worldwide say “we can create peace through partnerships.”

End Poverty Badge

End Poverty Badge

World Association of Girl Guides and Girl Scouts

Teaching girls new skills, how to adjust to life’s adversities and working together with others, comes in all forms of Team Building.

When you think of Girl Scouting you automaticall think of Girls Scout Troops, selling cookies and summer camp.

That is just a small part of how the Girls Scouts and Girl Guides learn.

Girl Scout Counselors from Around the World

Girl Scout Counselors from Around the World

Girlguiding Patch

Girlguiding Patch

 

I had the opporunity to becaome a Girls Scout leader when my daughter wanted to join as a Daisy. I continued with her as a leader until she became a Junior Girl Scout. (I know it was time to let her fly on her own, to learn from others, to find her own way in life.)  I remained as an adult Girls Scout supporting them through education, training of future leaders camping skills and CPR, camp nurse, chase team for the Canoe Team and hosting Girl Scout counselors from around the world.

I was fortunate enough to have an amazing group of young ladies stay with me over the years. My children learn about the cultures of Yugoslavia (Bosnia), Hungry, Wales, England, Denmark and Czechoslvakia.

Team building is a strong theme of the Canoe Team, along with safety, good sportsmanship and having fun while learning.  The girls practiced locally for the General Clinton Canoe Regatta in Brainbridge New York that is held on Memorial Day weekend.

There was one year I was especailly  remember. It was the years the Girls came in third place. They had previously come in first place. This year stands out in my mind because the two girls that paddle the final lap of the race chose to give up first place they were in to aid an overturned canoe team in trouble. They learned the importance of Safety, team building and that winning isn’t everything.

When the awards were handed out, the announces even mentioned the fact that the girls were in first place but choose to give it up to help others. Everyone started appaulding and yelling out “well done.”

Jane and Bill had done their job well in teaching the young ladies the important things in life.

Girls Scouts from Derry, New Hampshire 1986-1989

Girls Scouts from Derry, New Hampshire 1986-1989

 

The photos are from my experience as a Girls Scout. I wish I could remember who photographed our Girl Scout Troop #14 in 1989, to give them proper credit.

I hope this triggers you to remember your time as a Girl Scout or Girl Guide:

Your first troop meeting,

Learning the Girls Scout Promise-

The Girl Scout Laws

The camping Songs,

The first time you sleep in a tent,

The summer Girl Camps you went to,

And most of all-

The FUN and FRIENDSHIPS you made over the years.

Happy Girl Scouting!

Girl Scout Promise and Law

Girl Scout Promise and Law

Girl Scouts of America Wikipedia

Photos by June Stearns Butka except where noted.

Symbols from Google search with links provided to originals

World Thinking Day World Association of Girl Guides and Girl Scouts

Wikipedia “World Thinking Day”

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In Deep with the Book of Me- Prompt #1: Rose of Sharon

#Pt1BookOfMe2015Blog

In Deep with the Book of Me

In Deep with the Book of Me

In Deep with the Book of Me can be found HERE

I have decided to continue with Julie Goucher’s “The Book of Me” project, “In Deep with the Book of Me.”

Prompt #1 for January 2015: Imagine you are planting trees that represent your family history.

  • What trees would you plant?
  • What part of your family are represented by a specific tree.
  • Why is that the case? – Location, image, name?

It has taken me 18 days to decide what tree to choose, partly because what I think of in regards to my family is not so much a tree, but a bush, called the Rose of Sharon. I considered the mighty Oak (its strength,) a Weeping Willow (family tragedies) and the Sugar Maple (its nourishment, strength and vibrant hues.) None of them fully captured my family as I see them. Yes, I could have chosen different trees for each family. It felt like a separation of us not one tree that flourishes and grows with each generation.

I continued to return to the “Rose of Sharon.” Family tradition is that my parents planted a Rose of Sharon bush when they first were married. They brought a piece of that bush to each home that they lived in. If not possible they would plant a new one. That new one would come from one of our family member’s yard. The siblings of both my parents also have Rose of Sharon bushes in their yard. It was the foundation of faith to them. The following two Bible verses were taught to me as a child. Lily of the Valley was my mother’s favorite flower. A well-grounded choice in our family history of gardening included the Rose of Sharon. My mother brought a piece of her Rose of Sharon as a gift when I purchased my first home.

Song of Solomon 2:1-2

I am the rose of Sharon, and the lily of the valleys. As the lily among thorns, so is my love among the daughters. The thorns from the Rose of Sharon protect the delicate lily of the valley. In return the lily of the valley brings love and comfort in early summer while the rose of Sharon strengthens and prepares for blooms in late summer and fall.  Just like in our family Protection and love throughout our life’s cycle.

Isaiah 35:2
it will burst into bloom; it will rejoice greatly and shout for joy. The glory of Lebanon will be given to it, the splendor of Carmel and Sharon; they will see the glory of the LORD, the splendor of our God.

 

It is described as, an erect, deciduous shrub that produces colorful, cup-shaped flowers in summer and fall when few other shrubs are in bloom. Flower colors include blue, pink, red, lavender, purple, and white. A delicate pink with varying hues are what I remember at my parents’ home, white at my Aunt Carrie’s and blue at my Aunt Bea’s. The different colors are like our family with different personalities and opinions. The fact that they bloom when few other flowers can tolerate the changing season shows how our can adjust to life changes. We make ourselves known while other remain silent in times of need. That doesn’t mean we are vocal or in your face, most time it is through gentle hugs, sharing of what merger supplies we have or an ear that listens and not judgmental. We stand strong against our adversaries. Choose our battles and continue to fight another day.

 

Like the Rose of Sharon we are easy care/low maintenance. Well most of us anyway. One needs to take time to select a place with full sun to light shade and moist, well-drained soil. In my mother’s word; “Remember to follow the Lord and her will nourish and guide you.”

Plant in spring or fall:  Remember to plant the seed of the Lord early and plant again to strengthen our line in the fall of life.

Space plants 6 to 10 feet apart, depending on the expected mature size of the plant: Remember to give each person room to grow. Allow them to find themselves, but with a guiding hand until maturity.

Dig a hole only as deep as the root ball and 2 to 3 times as wide:  Remember to provide a sound base of family and surrounding them with others who can also provide love and support. It takes a village to raise a family.

If your soil is in very poor condition, amend the soil you’ve removed from the hole with a small amount of compost: You need to fertilize and adjust nutrients for each person. We learn in our own way. Reassure that you are there when needed. Some may need the Lord’s guidance but will fight it. Don’t preach, show by example, in this way you nourish and strengthen the soil and soul.

Otherwise don’t amend it at all. Carefully remove the plant from the container and set it in the hole. Fill it half full with soil, then water it well to settle the soil and eliminate air pockets. Let the water drain, then fill the remainder of hole with soil and water thoroughly: Just be there with comfort, nourishment and support, they will grow.

 

Continue spreading your comfort, nourishment and support to each new family member, prune back a little (don’t be an airplane and hover over them.) Allow them time to make mistakes on their own. It is how we learn to become independent and start our own branch. We will learn to remove those dead flowers or branches (throw away what doesn’t work and try something new that will.)

With the nourishment to our body, minds and our soul; comfort and support as needed; and the strength of our love will blossom and grow for years to come, just as we have for years before us. From those who left their native land to traverse the unknown angry seas to a new land of plenty in the Lord’s garden to present day America we have survived, adjusted, strengthened our family our country and grown to maturity that is far beyond what we thought was possible.

 

When you see the Rose of Sharon bush growing wild at the beach or neatly trimmed in someone’s garden you will remember it is constantly adapting, changing, and growing stronger each day. It will survive. Some believe it is with God’s love and care, others that Mother Nature watches over her children. It doesn’t matter what your beliefs are-care, support and love are there each day from someone or some source to allow the Rose of Sharon to grow and endure.

Rose of Sharon

Rose of Sharon

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#Wk2GenealogyDoOverBlog: Self Obituary Interview

 

Genealogy Do-Over Week # 2 Self-Interview or sorts

I know what I wrote is presumptuous. It’s how I roll.

 

  1. What do I want people to learn about me?

I want people to know that I’m a lover of life, a survivor, but more than just a survivor, I grasp the positive side of life. I am a person who sees the glass half full not half empty. Family always comes first.

If I had to write my own obituary it would go something like this:

The Silent Reaper spread his wings over our community of Merrimack, New Hampshire, last night and took to his home above our beloved neighbor and friend, June Lee Stearns Butka. Mrs. Butka, although strong in mind, she was weak in body for a great many of years, suffering from multiple other health issues, including breast cancer, succumbed to her final sleep at the Lord’s side. June was born 23 August 1954 New London, Merrimack County, New Hampshire, the daughter of Nelson William Stearns and Shirley Beatrice Pease, who are waiting to greet her on her final journey home. Her brother William Nelson Stearns will also greet her at her parent’s side. She is survived by her husband, Michael Daniel Butka of Merrimack, New Hampshire; daughter Tyna Butka; her significant other Josh  of, Massachusetts; her son Michael  Butka, his wife Jennifer Butka and her grandson Blake Butka of Wisconsin; her sisters Vickie of , New Hampshire; Marjorie of  New Hampshire; Eleanor of Oklahoma; Susan  of New Hampshire and brother Nelson  Stearns of  New Hampshire.  She is also survived by 14 nieces and nephews, 7 1/2 grand nieces and nephews, multiple cousins (9 first cousins) and her sisters in life, not by blood, Claudette Dufrense of Australia and Crosleen Powell of  Texas.

 

She attended grammar school in Monmouth, Maine, Lynn, Massachusetts, and Saugus Massachusetts; she attended middle school at Emerson school Saugus, Massachusetts. She started her high school years at what was the new Saugus Junior High School transferring her freshman year to Pembroke Academy in Pembroke, New Hampshire during a freak October 1969 Blizzard where she graduated in the last class before the school became public. She attended the first drug and alcohol counseling program at Dartmouth Hitchcock in Hanover, New Hampshire during the mid-70s, continuing her education, at New Hampshire Technical Institute in Concord, New Hampshire, New Hampshire Hospital School of Nursing, Concord, New Hampshire until the illness of both her parents sent her home to care for them and her younger siblings; graduating from New Hampshire Technical College, Portsmouth, New Hampshire with a diploma in Nursing. June was a lifelong student taking courses at various Colleges in the medical field, Human Service administration(Springfield College) and in later years online expanding her knowledge of genealogy, history and whatever else grabbed her interest.

On 20 April 1978  Sherrill K Moulton, Justice of the Peace of Kittery, Maine united June in marriage to Michael Daniel Butka. They move within three months to Randolph, New Jersey for the next 6 years, giving birth to both her children, before returning to her native state of New Hampshire for the reminder of her lifetime.

 

She worked in various cities and towns throughout New Hampshire, as well as in Morristown and Dover, New Jersey. She began her medical career with Mary McKerley, founder of the McKerley Nursing homes, as a companion in Pennacook, New Hampshire. Do to a disability she ended her nursing career of over thirty five years with the Rockingham Visiting Nurses Hospice Program on 10 Sept 2001 to her great sadness. June provided care from birth(Parkland Medical Center, Derry New Hampshire Maternity Ward in the mid 1980’s) to death. Her favorite saying was “I did from birth to death including the nuts and bolts in-between. Now I’m finding my roots.”  She was very active in the communities where she lived. She served as a member of various human service counsels, Red Hat Society, Nursing Societies, American Red Cross instructor, an advocate against child abuse, for early cancer detection, a participant in the inaugural Breast Cancer 3 Day-60 mile walk against Breast Cancer for both New York City (a Media Walker) and Boston, Massachusetts (crew coordinator.) She also volunteered for various charities including Miss Derry, Miss New Hampshire, and Wolverine Football Association at the local bingo hall or answering phones in the office for Miss New Hampshire. Even in her youth she was a member of her local church, Rainbow Girls, a 4H member and participated in displaying her creations at the Topsfield Fair, Topsham Massachusetts and in later years at Deerfield Fair Deerfield New Hampshire where she won various ribbons.

Mrs. Butka was a kindly neighbor, always ready with a cheery word of greeting and ready to assist others whenever the need was there. Although not able to visit as much as she liked she was always happy when friends and neighbors called, her door was always open to everyone. June Butka was the symbol of what a friend really is.

Funeral Services were held at the Veterans Cemetery, Boscawen New Hampshire surrounded by her family and friends. In lieu of flowers the family requested that donations be made to your favorite local charity in her honor. They wanted to continue her tradition of giving to those in need, it did not matter to her where the need was, and she would support them as much as she was able. Please pay it forward in her memory, as she paid it forward in her lifetime.

 

June Lee Stearns Butka

June Lee Stearns Butka

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Dennis the Menace: Coping with Family Stress

Coping with Family Stress

Dennis the Menace: Coping with Family Stress

I have been given permission by Mental Health America (formally known as, National Mental Health Association) to post the entire Booklet. Thank you Antionette. She was the lovely young lady who assisted me today in that permission.

I hope you find the an enjoyable way to reduce your Family Stress. This was originally published and put in National newspapers in 1981. I have kept my copy, that I now share with you.

I will be transcribing the basic text, not the cartoon text that goes with the photographs on each page. The comic strip and words work best as a unit.

Stress is not a Disease

Stress is not a Disease

STRESS

Is not a disease. Stress is normal. Stress is a part of our lives… Where we live, where we work, and even where we play.

When children are involved, the tension is magnified. Parents can get very angry and sometimes everyone suffers.

WE PARENTS

Must recognize how stress affects our families and learn to cope with it. Because children see and react to their world differently, they often cause stress to their parents. The question is: How to handle family stress? Here are some suggestions…

 

A Reminder or Two

A Reminder or Two

A REMINDER …

We can’t keep stress out of our lives, but showing affection is a way to reduce stress. We can let our children know that we love them…OFTEN!

…OR TWO.

Youngsters learn by example. Our affection for each other can be a lesson-in-living for our children.

 

Stress Point:

Stress Point:

STRESS POINT:

Our frustrations – in trying to get something done, for example, – can spill over and affect the way our children fell about themselves.

A Solution:

A Solution:

A SOLUTION:

When children feel neglected, they may go to extremes to get our attention. If we can’t include them in what we’re doing, we can explain to them that we’ll get together with them when we’re free to do so.

Stress Point #2:

Stress Point #2:

STRESS POINT:

When children are deeply involved in some activity, it may be literally impossible for them to pay attention to us.

 

A  Solution #2:

A Solution #2:

A SOLUTION:

We need to pause and reflect when we get upset at our children – – BEFORE we act.

 

Stress Point #3:

Stress Point #3:

STRESS POINT:

Probably more meals are ruined at the table than on the stove. Our nagging might be impolite as their sloppy eating.

 

A Solution #3

A Solution #3

A SOLUTION:

Even mother puts her elbows on the table occasionally! It takes time for youngsters to become adults – in table manners as in everything else. And they probably  learn more from what we do than what we say.

 

Stress Point #4

Stress Point #4

 

STRESS POINT:

Being a parent means a lot of sharing and not a lot of time alone. Dads can find their quiet times… For mothers it may not be so easy.

 

Solution #4

Solution #4

A SOLUTION:

We can give each other a break. It’s important to have some time alone if we expect to be able to cope with stress.

 

Stress Point #5

Stress Point #5

STRESS POINT:

Stress often flares up when children won’t cooperate… Take their own sweet time…Won’t do what they’re told…

 

Solution #5

Solution #5

A SOLUTION:

…But sometimes children may surprise us by doing what we want in THEIR OWN WAY.

They can have good ideas, and even when the ideas aren’t so good, there’s no better cure for stress than a good laugh!

 

Stress Point #6

One tip:

ONE TIP…

We shouldn’t be surprised when our “adult” problems cause stress to our children.

…AND ANOTHER

We can share our problems with other parents who have been “though the mill.” We can reach out to a neighbor, pastor, doctor, or relative for support.

 

We can all make it together

We can all make it together

WE CAN ALL MAKE IT TOGETHER WITH EACH OTHER’S HELP.

 

Dennis the Menace coping with family stress was prepared under contract No. HHS-105-80-C-066 with the National Center on Child Abuse and Neglect, Children’s Bureau, U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, March 1981.

Mental Health America (National Mental Health Association)

Mental Health America (National Mental Health Association)

 

A message from the Mental Health America (formally known as National Mental Health Association)

This booklet is one part of a national effort to prevent child abuse and neglect. A conservative estimate is that one million children are abused or neglected by their parents or caregivers in this country every year. As many as 2,000 die as a result of maltreatment.

Most child abuse and neglect is not caused by inhuman, hatefuul intent on the part of parents. Rather, it is the result of a combination of factors, including both accumulation of stresses on families and unmet needs of parents for support in coping with their child-rearing responsibilities.

Most child abuse and neglect can be prevented:

~If parents can reach out for the help they need to cope with the stresses in their lives.

~If professionals and agencies that provide services to families can be attentive to families who are having particular difficulties in the demanding task of raising their children.

~If communities can support preventative programs to help families in stress.

If you would like additional copies of this publication, you make contact the:

NATIONAL MENTAL HEALTH ASSOCIATION (aka, MENTAL HEALTH AMERICA)

1021 Prince Street

Alexandria, VA. 22314-2971

(703) 684-7722

 

 

 

 


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